How To Survive Widowhood?

Widowhood is a tough experience that no one wants to go through. Unfortunately, many women found themselves in this position and have absolutely no idea how to deal with the pain of losing someone dear to them. While having someone close to you die is a terrible experience, it does not mean you have to sit all day long in your bed, not do your chores and forget about the kids. It also does not mean you have to be string for others. It is okay to mourn the loss of your husband and it is also completely understandable. But sitting in bed for 3 months will not bring you any alleviation.
Here is how you can survive widowhood:

• Mourn - take your time to mourn. Take as much time as you need. Let yourself cry. Be alone. Cry, yell and punch things. Let yourself crush, only to rise again, stronger and bolder. Do what is necessary to regain yourself and to take control of your life. Do not be strong for others. Be strong for yourself.


• Learn to love the loneliness - it will take you some time, but you have to learn how to stay strong even in these moments of complete loneliness. Do not expect to love these moments all of the sudden. Take your time and adjust. You lived with a man for an extended period of time so it is natural that you might need some time to adjust to the new circumstances.


• Be in control of your life - I am sure you split chores and other stuff with your husband. Unfortunately, he is not here anymore and can't really help you. You must regain control of your whole life. Plus, you can't leave his loss keep you in bed all day long. You need to get up, face the reality and take control of your life.


• Join a support group - you are not the only one who has to go through this. Find a support group or a community of people who have experienced such a thing and join them. It will seem weird for you to share your story at first, but you will find great support in these women.


• Talk to people - do not push people away. As much as you want to be alone, do not push the closest people away from you. Taking some alone time is something natural, but if someone wants to talk to you, do not shut that person down. Everyone that stayed in your life through this moment means well and wants to make sure you are getting better. If you allow them to be a part of your life, you will see how having someone that cares about you can really change your perspective on life.

Widowhood is a big deal and a heavy thing to go through. Surround yourself with worthy people and people who want to be in your life. And always remember that time will make the pain go away.

Read more articles on relationships at http://www.love-repair.com

Single Vacations - Tips to Meet the Right Kind of Singles

It is very easy to find many single vacations online. Certain online dating sites specially cater to this type of service, therefore allowing singles like yourself to meet other like-minded people who might also be looking to find their perfect match. However, in order to get the best out of this type of service, you need to first understand what it is you are looking to achieve.
If your goal is to not only enjoy yourself as a single person when going on a vacation, but to also meet with that someone special, then you might want to consider factors such as age group, overall passions, and overall intentions of other singles before joining one of these single vacation packages.
If for example you are 25 years of age, and happen to be into people that are of a similar age to you, then your best bet is to find single vacations that cater to specific age groups only. There are many cruises and tropical Island package deals that actually achieve this very effectively. On many occasions they will tell you that the age group can only be between 20 and 30 years of age, or between 40 and 50 years of age.
In addition to this, you want to find out if the singles that are going on these vacations are there to meet other people or simply because they want to socialize. This might not always be easy to achieve because sometimes there is no official rule in place.
However, now and then you can find a particular single vacation package that will state very clearly that a particular trip is for singles that are looking to meet other singles in order to find their perfect match.
Lastly, in order to make sure that you are with like-minded people, choose your venues carefully. Do not simply go on a cruise because everyone else told you to go on it. Instead, pick a particular vacation that you truly have an interest in. By doing this, you can be sure that anybody you meet on that trip has the exact same interests as you in terms of the passions you have for life. In addition, because you are naturally enjoying yourself, people will naturally be attracted to you simply because of your positive attitude.
By keeping these points in mind, you will be able to find many single vacations packages that will help you to not only enjoy yourself, but to effectively find that perfect match.

If you would like more information on where to find exciting single vacations, please visit: http://www.meetmarketadventures.com/singles-travel-solo-adventure-trip-group-tour-single-women-men-world-travel-agency.html

Want A Relationship? Is Being A 'Good Woman' The Issue?

Many of us have grown up to believe that to be ladylike, you must sit still, be quiet and be a good girl. And for those of us who may have grown up in the church, a good Christian girl. Good girls don't cause trouble. They don't speak up when things bother them. Good girls keep to themselves, they do the right thing, they keep it together. Based on the environment we grew up in and who our influences were, we were programmed on how to act to be labeled a good girl. With this type of conditioning and programming, it's no surprise that many of us have grown up to allow and accept less than we deserve. We've basically been taught to settle. We allow and accept disrespectful behavior. We keep things to ourselves instead of speaking up. We deny our very own truth. We won't even acknowledge how we really feel. So when it comes to a relationship, as women, many of us have gotten into relationships with men that don't have our best interest at heart. We have gotten into relationships with men that don't honor us. We've gotten into relationships with men for all of the wrong reasons. And a lot of it stems from what we were taught about relationships and love in our childhood, what we saw, and what we experienced - all of which we brought into our adulthood. If we were taught to just sit still, keep quiet, and be good little girls, then that's what we grew up to do with the expectation that we were exhibiting our high value, good woman behavior and would get rewarded for it. Such BS!
Trying to be the perfect 'good woman' has clearly not gotten you what you wanted otherwise you probably wouldn't be reading this. There's nothing wrong with being a good woman. You should be. I'm not saying you should be a bad girl. However, trying to live up to society's expectations and other people's expectations of how you should be is an issue. A good woman doesn't have to be a doormat. She doesn't have to keep quiet to be ladylike. A good woman should voice her concerns and/or opinions. A good woman isn't a puppet. She's a person. She's a human being with feelings like everyone else. She needs to communicate to a man what her wants and needs are. She deserves to have standards and not waver if a man doesn't meet them. Ladies, in case you don't know, a good woman is a PRIZE for a good man. We are the prize. One of the effects of growing up with that BS 'good girl' programming is that it may have caused you to just sit still and allow yourself to be chosen by a man. When I say chosen, I mean that you have made it all about him; you let him choose you versus you choosing him. You have given up your power by not setting standards or not enforcing your standards and/or not speaking up at all about your needs and wants in an effort not to cause trouble, not to scare a man away.
Remember, good girls don't cause trouble, right? So you just settle for whatever a man says or does. That's really disheartening and unfortunate. You deserve so much more. You're a Queen. Queens don't settle. You get to choose. I have made mistakes and dishonored myself by putting up with behavior I shouldn't have in the past. We all have. So I had to become aware of the same mistakes I was making, how what I was taught as a child influenced my decision-making, heal from it, and commit to improving myself. I've had to increase my self-awareness and self-love. And that is ongoing. So we have to wake up at some point and realize that men are only treating us how we are allowing ourselves to be treated and it is a direct reflection of the love we have for ourselves. Here a few tips to help you make a change:
Become Aware. You have to do the inner work to heal. It is a fact that what we experience as children plays a role in how we live our lives as adults. Go back to your childhood. Who taught you about relationships? Who showed you what love felt like? Did you feel loved at all? Ask yourself those types of questions. We tend to sabotage relationships because of our unhealed wounds. We also tend to get in relationships to try to fill a void that stemmed from our childhood. It's important to become self-aware so you can recognize patterns or habits that keep coming up that are hindering you more than helping you when it comes to relationships. You can't change what you won't acknowledge.
Increase Your Self-Love. Self-love is mandatory! How you treat yourself is how others will treat you. You set the standard. There is nothing selfish about taking care of yourself. You should be a priority in your own life. You can't expect a man to come in and tell you that you are beautiful, for example, if you don't even think that you're beautiful. You have to know your worth. You have to take time off to give to yourself. We sometimes get into relationships out of boredom or desperation. Get back to what makes you happy. Get back to your goals and dreams. What inspires you? Work on yourself. Use the time that you're single to invest in yourself and grow yourself. Become the best version of yourself. When you are happy and full of life and doing your thing, it's less likely that you'll go out looking to fill a void or just because you're bored or out of desperation. The better you are for yourself, the better you are for everyone else. When you are better, you attract better. Treat yourself how you want others to treat you. You're a queen. Are you treating yourself like a queen or a peasant?
Stop Seeking Approval. We all want to be liked. We all want to fit in. We all want everyone to like and accept us. That can only happen in a perfect world. We definitely don't live in a perfect world. Perfection doesn't exist. Stop worrying about what others think. Stop letting people tell you what you should want, what you should need. Live your life on your terms. Keep your standards. Do what makes you happy. I already mentioned the importance of self-love. You have to put yourself first. When you do, some people may not respond positively to your new attitude. So what. Those who matter don't mind and those that mind don't matter. If you constantly put everyone else's needs and what they think is best for you before your own, you're setting yourself up for a life of unhappiness. At some point, you have to not give an f and just do you. If you and God agree, that's all that matters. You only get to live once. Don't get to your death bed and be full of regret. If being a good woman means you must succumb to society and everyone else's expectations, then I say forget being a 'good' woman. Just call me a Woman, period.
Take care of yourself, heal from the past, move forward, increase your self-love and self-worth. You deserve the best and the highest level of love. You are worth it. You deserve it.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/9529518

3 Ways to Cope As a Single Christian

Being in a single status is also cool. Actually, it has many benefits; you have that freedom to do anything that you want without anyone to keep an eye over you (our parents is exceptional in here, of course), and you are not like a chicken tied in a tall post. Being single does not mean that you are all alone and no one loves you. Hey! You have your parents and circle of friends.
Many single Christians right now are being peer-pressured because they have no partners in life who can add some spice and make their lives colourful. Single Christians, should kiss that peer pressure goodbye. How? Well, let me share you some secrets in coping up for being a single Christian:
1. Get busy! Be a joyful single.
Enjoy life. You are free! Be involved in a ministry in your church or community. Matthew 6:33 says that we should seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well (NIV Bible 2011). If you faithfully serve the Lord, many blessings will be poured out to you, which includes blessing in your love life of course. Sometimes it will come to you by surprise that the person which God plan for you to marry is one of your church mates or someone you meet in one of Christian gatherings you attended. Who knows? Only God knows.
2. Be Patient. Wait.
The bible says in 1 Corinthians 13:4 says that love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. The verse says it all. True love can wait. Do not rush. It is a step-by-step process. Each and every one of us has our own love story, written by a great author. We are commanded to trust on His great plan for our life without reservation, to abide and believe that there is one dear person who is destined to be your life partner. An individual like you who is also searching and asking God for the right person to come.
3. Ask, Seek, and Knock (Matt. 7:7-8).
Majority of Christians wants to have a life partner. In order to have that person in your hands, you should ask him/her from God. In Genesis 2:18, God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." Take it from God. Even before in time of creation, he gave Eve to Adam. Some Christian singles become wary when they reached a marriageable age and there is still no wedding bells ringing, remember that God knows what you think and the desire of your heart even before it was conceived in your mind. If you put your trust in Him, nothing is impossible.
It is not a curse to be christian single. Use that freedom to touch lives and inspire others. There are many things that you can do for the Lord while waiting for that special someone.

Meet single Christians who are also waiting for their soul mate. Visit Christian-Dating-Guide.com and get to know your potential life partner. No matter where you are in the world, love will surely find its way to you.

Christian Singles: Learn to Maximize Your Relationship Success

Christian singles, do you want to build healthy and successful relationships? If your answer is "yes!", then you must learn how to pick people with godly character traits, as well as be a person of godly character!
First, let's take a look at what healthy and satisfying relationships look like...

Henry Cloud and John Townsend teach in their book, Safe People, that healthy relationships include four qualities. First, they are safe emotionally and physically. Second, they have boundaries that are respected. Third, they draw you closer to God and help you to grow spiritually. And fourth, they do not compromise your Christian values.

There are some other identifying marks of a healthy relationship which Cloud and Townsend mention. For example you will feel built up not torn down. In other words the relationship will help you become who God wants you to be. Also, you will be drawn closer to others in a healthy way. In healthy relationships you can also expect mutual trust, respect and vulnerability as well as a balanced sense of giving and taking.
Most importantly you will experience healthy and satisfying relationships by looking for a mate based on Christian principles and by choosing to be a person of godly character yourself. Naturally, it is common even for Christian singles to be attracted to the outside of a person: their looks, their status, their achievements, and their intelligence. But remember, it is the inside of a person that we experience in relationships.
The time to evaluate character in others is before you get too deeply involved. As Cloud and Townsend say, "When the attachment deepens, the reasoning weakens." The scriptures warn us to, "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." Proverbs 4:23.

At this point you may be wondering, what kind of character traits should Christian singles look for and aspire to? Ruth and Boaz, two singles from the Bible, exemplify the kind of character traits to look for in a potential mate.

Ruth's character traits were: devotion to God and to family -- the evidence of her character was in her actions. She was humble and teachable. She was focused on her responsibilities. Her faith was in God to provide for her -- she trusted Him for a future spouse. She was a woman of her word. She did what she said she would do.

Boaz was devoted to God and to his farming responsibilities. He did not let his heart become entangled and he was not distracted from his priorities. He was a man of his word. He did what he said he would do. He was a Christ-type -- he exemplified the character and work of Christ - especially in his act of redemption for Ruth.

If you want to become a person of character, you must take personal ownership of your character development. You must be willing to stop blaming others for your short comings and failures. You are the only one who can do it. If you have a pattern of painful relationships take an honest look at your own character traits. Confess to the Lord the things you discover about yourself and make a plan for change. For example read a book on the subject, set personal limits and develop an accountability system.
If you have unresolved issues from your past such as trauma, abuse, abandonment or neglect and you recognize a pattern of painful relationships, find someone who will help you work through them like a pastor or a counselor. When people have been traumatized by these things as children, they often need to make changes that will bring healing and wholeness in order to function well in close relationships.

Finally, Christian singles need a plan for spiritual growth. Your plan should include making knowing and loving God a priority in your life. Choose to order your life around knowing God rather than finding a mate. Then pray for a mate who is committed to the same things. You see, God's primary work in each of us is to conform us to the image of Christ. As you devote yourself to God and His word, and yield to His Holy Spirit, your character will change. As your character changes you will likely experience more relationship success.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/111726

Is He Your Mr Right? A Biblical Look at Finding Love

Christian single, have you been pondering whether the man or woman you are involved with is Mrs. or Mr. Right? If so, this lesson takes a Biblical approach to looking at love relationships and will give you some clear answers as to whether the man or woman you are with is the real thing and the best that God has for you.
Now I'm going to assume that you are already abiding my the biblical dating formalities, that is to "be not unequally yoked with an unbeliever," and that you are to marry someone who is "in the Lord." So, if your significant other is not of the faith you really don't have to read any further. 2 Corinthians 6:14:15 asks us, "What fellowship has light with darkness?" Do you really want the enemy as your father-in-law? Of course, he or she may be a wonderful person, but when the going gets tough who or what will they put their faith in if not God?

I would never have thought I'd be writing an article on "Is He Your Mr. Right" but God dropped this heavily in my spirit last week as I was preparing for my presentation at the Holy Health and Wellness Fair on Detoxing Your Life and Letting God's Light Shine Through." In fact, when I told my daughter that I had written this article she laughed because what would I know about meeting Mr. or Mrs. Right? The foundational scripture that I'd like to begin with is 1 John 4:19, "We love God because He FIRST LOVED us." Do you see the significance of those words? We didn't chase after God. No, he chased after us. He lured us into a relationship with Him. Romans 3:11 tells us that no one seeks after God without him first seeking after them. It was God who waited at the well to talk with the woman who had already lived with seven men and the man she was currently with wasn't even her husband. It was God who asked the questions and then provided the answers that would bring about her deliverance and change her life. That day as she made her way to the well, she wasn't thinking about whether she would have an encounter with God today, no, she was going to get water. But God knew in advance that she would be there and he waited. Then he wooed her with his words.

Single ladies, how often is this scenario in reverse for you. You get all dolled up and go to this or that event, hoping and praying that Mr. Right will find you? Hey, I use to do it all the time. Do you ever leave feeling disappointed, especially if you go to a Christian singles' event and there are 30 women for every one man. The odds really aren't in your favor.

But I want you to make a shift in your consciousness today. I want you to see the development of a true love relationship, a godly love relationship in a whole new light. I want you to see a love relationship that mimics the relationship that God had with Israel, a prophet had with a prostitute, and Jesus has with the church.
Did you know that God's relationship with the children of Israel in the Old Testament shows the love that a man is suppose to have for his mate? Are you aware that over and over and over and over in the Bible that God pursued the children of Israel only to be rejected again and again and again? Passage after passage throughout he Old Testament is God pleading for the children of Israel to love and follow him because He wanted to bless them. Anyone who says God isn't patient or merciful hasn't read the Bible. He never gave up; he still hasn't. These were his people and He loved them despite their bad behavior. All he ever wanted was for them to return and embrace his love.

In fact, he also used the story of Hosea to further depict his love and faithfulness to his people. God put an unconditional love in Hosea's heart for a prostitute, Gomer and told him to marry her. In Hosea 3:1, God told Hosea, "Love her as the Lord loves the Israelites." Hosea took Gomer to his home and gave her everything he had. He was crazy over her. But her old ways and life would lure her back into the streets and the arms of other men. Yet, that did not stop Hosea from finding his woman and bringing her back home. That's how much he loved her.

Did you know that the relationship between Jesus and the church is our model for marriage? The Bible says that "we" are the bride of Christ. In Mark 2:20 Jesus refers to himself as the bridegroom. And because of his love for us, he stepped off his throne in heaven, lived on earth for about 30 years where he was ridiculed and rejected, and then died violently on a cross in order to restore our relationship back to God so that we could live eternally with Him. Revelations 19:7-9 and 21:1-2 tells about the ultimate wedding that will take place. We are told that at the second coming of Christ, the official wedding ceremony will begin and the eternal union of Christ and his bride (us) will become a reality.

Well as I continued to prepare my presentation the Lord spoke to my spirit and said, that if a man is not as crazy and devoted to you as Christ is to the church and God was to the Children of Israel, he is not your bridegroom but a hireling, a fake. Wow! We loved God because HE first loved us. We are to love the man in our life because "he" first loved us, not because we manipulated, coerced, seduced, or even threatened him in marrying us. As women, we are to be receivers, not chasers. God created the man to choose, to pursue, and to love us and not the other way around. Ephesians 5:25 tells men to love their wives as Christ loved the church. But unfortunately, a role reversal has taken place and women have begun to aggressively chase after men and use any and all means to get them. Ladies, you may get a man, but he won't be your bridegroom! When God does the choosing he will send him correct and He will put a love in his heart for you that will last longer than a flicker in the night.

I have known of men who waited for women for YEARS because they knew that woman was the one God had for them; they had eyes for no other. It didn't matter how cute someone else was, their hearts were taken. Often times the women couldn't see it. They just weren't interested at all, but God began to do a work in their heart as well and these marriages are just as strong today as they were years ago.

I know I'm going to sound a bit out there right now, but I'm going to say it anyway. Ladies, if the man in your life is not crazy about you, can't stop thinking about you, doesn't nurture and cherish you, doesn't love buying you little things to see you smile, and if that man in your life wouldn't die for you, he's not your bridegroom. He is a fake and he'll never love you like a true groom would. Now you can settle for him just to have somebody and not be alone, but just be clear what you're doing. However, if you want God's best, then wait for God to bring him to the well of your heart. Let him ask you for a drink of water but all along his true intentions are to water you with his love, to woo you, and to take you as his own.

Now married ladies, your man may have started out thinking you were the cream in his coffee but because of the little foxes that were swept under the rug and not exposed and dealt with, a wall may have surfaced between you. It's time to detox your relationship from everything that stands between you and your man and get those sparks flying again. So don't despair, just start doing that mental and spiritual cleaning that is blocking the love between you from flowing freely. However, if you settled for a hireling, you may have to work harder to cultivate love and passion in your relationship, but with God all things are possible.

Now for the men, I told you that you can glean from this article as well because if the woman in your life doesn't make you a little "coo coo," when you think about her then she probably isn't the one either. I believe that when God presents that woman in your life you will eat, breath, dream, and sleep her. You won't be able to get her out of your mind. It's like thoughts about her will haunt you, in a good way of course. And yes, you would give her your all, up to the point of your own life. Your love for her will represent the love that Jesus has for the church and God for his people.

Therefore, single ladies if you are in a relationship and with a man, in which, you are always questioning whether he loves you, you don't know his intentions, and you are carrying the bulk of relationship, run away, don't walk. This man is "just not that into you." Your bridegroom and your Boaz won't have any problem showing you and telling you how he feels.

Lastly, be patient and as you learned in previous lessons, learn to have a relationship with yourself and be fun, confident, and a joy to be around. Then one day when you least expect it, he'll be right there waiting for you and you thought you were just going to buy some lettuce.

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Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/4107137

Tips for Christian Singles - God's Will for Your Love Life

As a survivor and graduate of the single life, I have met and conquered many of the common struggles that come with singleness. It is human nature to desire companionship and intimacy, but there is a right and wrong way to pursue these desires. As Christians, God should always be our top priority and our chief consultant. It is when we ignore His wisdom, and put focus more on the world than on our Father that things begin to unravel.
Anytime our lives become out of step with what is considered the "norm", we are flooded with well-intentioned advice. "You should date more. You should date less. You should try a blind date. How about a dating show? Are you on E-Harmony? I've got this friend.... Maybe you should change your look." The problem here isn't the advice; it is the source.
I remember singleness and how lonely it made life at times. Especially around those disgusting couples who insist on slobbering all over each other right in front of you. The danger with allowing singleness to spawn loneliness is that it often gives rise to desperation. Desperation will then, almost certainly, lead to searching. If I learned nothing else from being without love it's that searching for "Mr. Right" is futile. I can recall the day that I realized this truth, and like a lightning bolt I embraced God's timing for my love life.
You may not be ready to take that leap of faith, but perhaps I can help you take a baby step of faith. Before you can be happily married or committed you need to discover how to be happily single and to do that you must understand and accept the circumstances that surround singleness. In order to live a happy, single life we must understand and accept the circumstances that surround it.
1. Before you can have an intimate relationship with another person, you must engage in an intimate relationship with Christ. Let's speak Greek for a minute. Compared to the Greek translation of scripture, the English version is extremely watered down. In our culture we use the word "love" to cover a huge span of emotions. We throw it around on Facebook like it's a hot potato. In the Greek there are several different words that translate into "love". The one I want to focus on is "agape". Agape is a divine love. It's a love that we only experience through our connection with the Holy Spirit. We can only share agape when we are yielded to the spirit. In the following scriptures agape is the word used for love.
"Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love." -1 John 4:8
"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life." -John 3:16
"A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another." -John 13:34-35
"But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." -Romans 5:8
God is love, so apart from God there is no love. There may be strong affection, great admiration, passionate infatuation, but there is not agape. If you are not equipped with agape then you are not ready to be married, and if you are not ready to be married then you certainly shouldn't be looking for a date.
2. Feeling like you're ready for a relationship does not mean you're ready for a relationship. If you haven't yet embraced the many negative aspects of being human, I suggest you do so right now. We're really pretty ridiculous little creatures. We're fickle. We're shallow. We're petty. We think we know a lot more than we actually do. I imagine that this is somewhat humorous to God, but probably mostly irritating. I know you think you're "ready", but what you think is irrelevant. You have to know that God's love is unfailing, and His wisdom far exceeds ours.
For a long time I thought that God only cared about the big, "important" things in my life. What I will be when I grow up, what church I will go to, where I will live, but certainly not something as insignificant as my love life. Listen People, he cares about every part of our lives.
"Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart," -Psalm 37:4.
But just as we must keep in mind that He cares and is willing to help, we must also realize that if we do not hold up the empty places in our life He will not fill them. He can't cradle you in His hands if you're constantly fighting to jump out!
3. You must be ready to walk steadily beside Christ before you can walk down that aisle. Before you can have a Christ-centered relationship you must have a Christ-centered life. If your relationship is focused around anything other than God it will not be blessed. If you find a couple that has been together for 40 years and has never experienced trying times, I want to talk to them! Issues are going to arise, that goes back to us being imperfect. Every relationship, whether it is newlyweds or a marriage of 50 years, will hit rough patches. If when you fall, you both land at the feet of Christ and allow Him to lead you threw it, you will persevere.
Today's society makes it far too easy to turn to divorce as a solution to marital problems instead of turning to Christ. Marriage is a serious commitment and it shouldn't be taken lightly. If you're approaching that altar with a "if it doesn't work we can just get a divorce" mentality, then you need to slow your roll. Marriage is not a game; it's not a pastime; it's a big deal. You're making a commitment not just to the person holding that ring, but to Christ. It is a binding contract that ties two hearts together and makes them one!
"...and they will become one flesh," Genesis 2:24.
I know that this is a touchy subject. I come from a family that has been severely bitten by the divorce bug. Let's just say I have a lot of aunts and uncles. I know the effects divorce can have on a family which is why this subject is so close to my heart. If we don't regain some of that respect for the sanctity of marriage that our society once had, our divorce rates are going to continue to climb. The more familiar we become with something the easier it becomes to accept it.
4. Happiness is not found in another person, it is found in Christ. OK, this is key. If you're miserable with your life and you think falling in love and getting married is going to fix it, you need to think again. Regardless of how sweet that guy is and how wonderful he smells he is going to fail you at some point. That's just how it works. If your happiness is entirely wrapped up in your spouse what will happen when they slip up? Naturally, you'll start looking for a new happiness fix. Happiness is not found in people, or things, or accomplishments, it's found in Christ. Only in Christ. Nowhere but in Christ. That's it. Stop arguing.
5. There are blessings that come with singleness and you should welcome them! Both marriage and singleness are important to accomplishing God's purposes for His children. For this reason we must accept our personal situations as part of His will for our lives. Paul was a champion of the single life. Without the distraction of a partner you can focus more of your time, energy, and affection on God. He didn't criticize marriage, but he encouraged people to accept singleness not as a plague, but as a gift.
"I wish that all men were as I am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that. Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am." -1 Corinthians 7:7-8

I don't want to give the impression that I feel you must start a relationship off with these standards met in order for it to be successful. I know a lot of couples that were married for years before their relationship began revolving around Christ. No one has a perfect beginning. But hey, if you can avoid some of the mud and muck that other married people have had to wade through, then you're that much more likely to have a successful marriage. If you get nothing more out of this I pray you come to terms with this truth: He is the potter and we are the clay! Quit jumping and let Him hold you. Turn your eyes to Him, your heart to Him, and your ears to Him and wait for Him to guide your next step.
"...written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God," - 2 Corinthians 3:3

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Acquiring Spiritual Wealth Will Greatly Enrich Your Life

Spiritual wealth is wealth that derives from knowledge. To gain spiritual wealth entails acquiring spiritual knowledge. Facts and information about the spiritual aspect of life are what constitute spiritual knowledge. Such facts and information include: facts about our spiritual nature and the purpose of our life; information about God and the role He plays in human affairs; facts and information on the way our spirituality shapes and orders human life and society; and information on the spiritual principles and processes that regulate our activities and influence the outcome of our pursuits. We require these facts and information if we are to avoid groping through life guided only by our instincts and emotions. We need these facts and information if we are to perform at our full potential and so get the most out of life. Let us now examine the many benefits a person will derive from acquiring spiritual knowledge. Human ability is limited. So is our life span. Consequently, no one has the ability or the time to acquire knowledge and skill in all areas of human endeavour. And so each individual acquires training and then participates in a particular trade or profession.
No human being can accomplish all things. If a businessman's car breaks down, he will need a mechanic to fix it. And in the event that the mechanic falls ill, he will need to see a doctor for treatment. We need others and others need us. The sexes need each other in the domestic enterprise of starting and raising a family. It is an apt description of our situation when we say: no man is an island. Clearly, we are a social species which is why we are constantly interacting with one another. The day begins at home with interaction amongst family members. At the work place we are involved with colleagues, superiors or subordinates. Here also, we have to attend to those who need our products or services and deal with those whose products or services we need. In between the home and work place we have to contend with other road users. How skillful we are at relating to others goes a long way towards determining how happy and successful we are at home and at work. One of the benefits of acquiring spiritual knowledge is that it enables us to develop interpersonal skills. Things do not always turn out happily or successfully in spite of our best efforts, individually or collectively. There have been instances where doctors have asked patients to go home and await death as nothing more could be done for them medical science has reached its limit.
In spite of impressive advances in modern medicine, sickness is still a major cause of untimely deaths. Technical faults, human error and natural causes have resulted in tragic loss of human lives in accidents involving the different modes of transportation. Our sophisticated early warning devices and protective measures have not always proved adequate in safeguarding us from natural disasters caused by floods, violent storms and earthquake. Apparently, our limitations as human beings make us unable to cope with every situation or circumstance. On our own, we cannot always ensure our safety, welfare and the success of our pursuits. This is why humans, all through the ages, have instinctively sought to reach out to a power much greater than them to help ensure their well being. And the good thing is this. God created us with limited ability but in His infinite wisdom He has made His unlimited capabilities available to us. Another benefit of acquiring spiritual knowledge is that it makes us able to access the unlimited powers of God through exercise of faith in Him. The dictum,knowledge is power clearly applies here.
The spiritually enlightened individual is a spiritually empowered person. Human beings have conscience which makes them aware of the choice they ought to make between right and wrong. This, in effect, means that some things we say or do are wrong and some things we say or do are right. A natural consequence of this is that human beings need to be discouraged from doing wrong and they also need to be encouraged to do good. Hence, wrongdoing usually attracts unpleasant consequences while the good we do usually brings us reward. In fact, our criminal justice system conforms to this pattern. Punishment is meted out to wrongdoers to serve as deterrent. On the other hand, society, by way of encouragement, offers all manner of rewards and awards for those who contribute positively to the system. And this includes the wages or salaries we receive for doing even the most mundane jobs. A porter who helps someone carry their baggage will be rewarded with a tip. But if he steals a bag and is caught, the law will punish him. And this brings us to yet another benefit of acquiring spiritual knowledge. We are moral beings and spiritual enlightenment enables the individual to attain a high moral state.
In addition to being able to tell right from wrong, such a person will be very responsive to their conscience. This way, they will be able to avoid wrongdoing and its repercussions. Such a person will always strive to do good since they know that good deeds will, sooner or later, be rewarded. It is said that where there is a will, there is a way and that if at first you don't succeed, try and try again. But not everyone is aware of the amazing results determination and perseverance can produce in our efforts to realize our goals and aspirations. Human beings will be spared a lot of worries, doubts and fears if they are aware of the spiritual principle which provides that success will inevitably crown our efforts if we persevere in the pursuit of a goal and if we have faith in God. Fidel Castro, the Cuban leader, is a man who has made it to the top. His view on what it takes to journey from the bottom to the top is noteworthy. He said:It does no matter how small you are if you have faith and plan of action. Awareness of the abovementioned spiritual principle is another important benefit we derive from acquiring spiritual knowledge. Many people, at one time or another, may have experienced the situation I am about to describe. You have just gone through a bad situation and you are upset. Then someone says or does something annoying and you flare up and respond harshly. What this person has said or done is something you would ordinarily have overlooked but on this occasion you fly off the handle. Why did this happen? Here is the explanation. The human mind is a creative device such that mental conditions tend to spontaneously manifest as observable phenomena. Any condition, image or vision we hold on to in the mind will, sooner or later, translate into physical reality.
This is a natural creative process the process that produces the awesome power of belief. The power of belief is a spiritual resource we can employ to achieve seemingly impossible feats. This is what Jesus Christ, the great religious teacher, has to say about the power of belief:If you can? Everything is possible for him who believes. (The Bible, Mark 9:23). He did not mention this all-important concept only once. He touched on it again on another occasion. Hear him:Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. (The Bible, Mark 11:24). Napoleon Hill, world-famous author of the book, Think and Grow Rich, expressed this concept very succinctly in this statement:Whatever a man can conceive and believe he can achieve. And so we come to yet another important benefit a person can derive from acquiring spiritual knowledge.
The spiritually enlightened individual is able to consciously employ this spiritual resource that is available to us to effectively deal with the difficulties and challenges we all have to face in life. By using affirmations, such a person will hold on to their dream because they know that an unstoppable creative process will ultimately cause their dream to become reality. Such an individual will also appreciate the need to always keep their mind clean by using positive thoughts to clear the mind of negative thoughts and emotions. That spiritual knowledge is performance-enhancing and life-improving cannot be denied. But then the question arises: Why is the quality of life of religious people not noticeably different from that of non religious people and the populace of religious nations are not better off than those of secular nations? The answer to this question lies in the fact that the quality of spiritual knowledge available to us thus far is poor. In the established religious teachings, a lot of the facts provided are not backed by proof and many of the beliefs propagated cannot stand up to rational examination. Unverifiable conjectures about existence beyond this life are professed as truths.
In fact, fiction, misconception and superstition are being presented as spiritual realities. Obviously, knowledge that is so flawed cannot lead to any great benefits. But here is cheering news. Quality spiritual knowledge is now available under the name, Spiritual Science. This is spiritual knowledge that has been obtained using the scientific methods of observation, experimentation and logical deduction.
In scope and depth, Spiritual Science provides sufficient spiritual knowledge that will enable humans attain full spiritual enlightenment. The opportunity to gain spiritual wealth and greatly enrich our lives has never been so good for the human race. We owe it to ourselves to get more out of life by acquiring this knowledge-based wealth. For more information, visit: http://www.sssi.org

Are All The Dead Christians In Heaven?

It has long been taught that when a Christian dies they go straight to heaven. Is this what the Bible teaches or have paganistic doctrines and myths crept unbeknown into our Christian faith? What did Jesus say about his friend Lazarus who had died? John 11:11-14 These things said he: and after that he saith unto them, Our friend Lazarus sleepeth; but I go, that I may awake him out of sleep. Then said his disciples, Lord, if he sleep, he shall do well. Howbeit Jesus spake of his death: but they thought that he had spoken of taking of rest in sleep. Then said Jesus unto them plainly, Lazarus is dead. Jesus clearly showed us that the dead sleep. If Lazarus had gone to heaven Jesus would have said that he was in heaven with the Father. Also, after Jesus raised Lazarus, did anyone ask Lazarus What was it like in heaven? Tell us about it. No one did, because it was the belief of the day that when someone died they slept until the resurrection on the last day. This is further clarified in Psalms where we are told that when we die our thoughts perish Psalms 146:4 His breath goeth forth, he returneth to his earth; in that very day his thoughts perish. We are also told that we will not rise again until the heavens are no more (when Jesus returns) Job 14:12 So man lieth down, and riseth not: till the heavens be no more, they shall not awake, nor be raised out of their sleep.
Paul reinforced this understanding 1 Thessalonians 4:16 For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the trump of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first: Many Christians believe that when they die they go directly to heaven, even though the day of judgment has not even occurred yet. They visualize themselves in heaven with the angels praising God. But what does the Bible say? Psalms 115:17 The dead praise not the LORD, neither any that go down into silence. It is clear that the Bible writers all believed that the state of the dead is like sleeping, to be awakened the moment after they closed their eyes at the final trumpet at the coming of Jesus on the day of redemption. 1 Corinthians 15:52 In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trump: for the trumpet shall sound, and the dead shall be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed. Job made it clear that we return to dust and are no more until the resurrection Job 7:21 And why dost thou not pardon my transgression, and take away mine iniquity? for now shall I sleep in the dust; and thou shalt seek me in the morning, but I shall not be. There are many deceptions of Satan going on in these end times and spiritism is on the increase.
If people realized that the dead are all asleep and can't communicate with us, then they would start to question who exactly it is that they are communicating with. There are many deceptive demonic spirits in the invisible world around us, who take every opportunity they can to lead people astray. It is time that we recognized that when mediums are speaking to the other side it is actually the evil angels that they are talking to and not dead beloved relatives. How can we help those who have been tricked by these deceptive spirits, if we don't demonstrate to people from a Biblical perspective that the dead are asleep and have no thoughts, so it can't be them doing the communicating? All Bible references are from the King James Version. http://www.investmentpropertybooks.com/christianbooks.html For more information on this topic please visit http://www.thetruthaboutdeath.org/