The Fruit of the Spirit - Love

Of all the Fruit of the Spirit love is the greatest because God is love and He gave His Son Jesus because He loved the World.

Jesus said this is my commandment that you love one another. He did not give us a request but a commandment. Why is it a commandment? Because through the force of love we can quench every fiery dart of the enemy and love also covers a multitude of sins.

This type of love is not what we consider love to be. It is not the pounding of the heart or the tingling all over our bodies. This love do not retaliate when someone do us wrong, it will turn the other cheek and do well to those who hurt us. It is not selfish so it does not seek its own will but will seek the good of others first.

This type of love is not about feeling it is of action. We do not wait to feel it before we do it. It is most prevalent shown when we do not really feeling like it and Christian are commanded to walk in love; this is how the World will know us.

Showing love for others should be done on a daily base, it is not the big things that we do that show our love for others but it is in the simple everyday things that we do that shows our love.

Love is not weak at all and even though we are to turn the other cheek this does not make us weak. It makes us stronger than the one who is causing a problem for us because we will not allow ourselves to fall for their tactic, we are above it and our love proves it.

If we are walking in love, should we get angry? Yes, we can get angry and still be in love. Jesus got angry when some People were selling products in the Temple of God. He turned over their tables and made them leave the Temple. He had a righteous cause to be angry but there was no sin in His action. It was because of His love that He became angry.

Love is not puffed up or proud, it does not behave unseemly. It has the ability to draw People to us and this is a wonderful opportunity to share the good news of Jesus with them.

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Jesus Loves Me, Yes I Know

John 13:34 A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.

Can a person love one another if that love does not include their self. The value of the human life was important enough for Jesus to die for. Not that He died for the mortal body, but the eternal soul. It I think is more difficult for us as humans in the flesh to love ourselves in the way that God meant for us to. It seems a selfish thing that almost would not be Christian to do, yet is necessary and one might say even a requirement of finding the love of Jesus.

We as believers know that it is not about us, but about Jesus and the price that He paid for us. I find that in myself I feel that I am not worthy of anything that might be good for me. Acknowledging ourselves as sinners and knowing that "all have sinned and came short of the glory of God" is enough to limit our expectations for what God has for us. It would only make sense in the carnal mind that we should have nothing, be nothing and just be a concession prize for what he really came to do. It would seem that he really came to save sinners and that we are falling into that category, it really was inadvertent that he saved us. Kind of like he didn't really come for me, but I just became part of the deal. When in all truth he would do it all over again for just one of us. You that know you are not now, or then, or ever will be worthy of his love, you are the reason that he came from glory to die.

Children of the king. We all are, that accept him as our savior. In his word in the New Testament he promises us who believe in him eternal life through him. Testament is a will that would in our world and in his be a legal contract. Kind of like the housing crisis that has fell on this country in recent history. Many did not read the contract, and have recently found out that more was required of them than what they thought. Unfortunately for many it was too late and all that they had ended up being lost to those that paid the note for them.

We as Christians need to educate ourselves to what is required in the contract that God has with us. It is all here for us in His word. All up front, no small print.

Love for ourselves is as important as love for one another. I can not tell someone about the love of Christ and how that he died for them if I do not see the value of my own life. God knows each of us in our own way. He knows the ones he has called lead, those to follow, those who will just exist and love Him. All equal in His eyes as His children. He loves us all, and finds something good in each of our abilities and inabilities that we all have. I can picture God on his throne looking down on us, seeing one that He sees with great pride at the works that they do for His kingdom. Knowing that as David led tens of thousands so shall they. Another, that by faith will trust in Him to bring them through. One that will always find a strong dependency in His power. Another that may not be anything more in this world than one of his. One that will not build kingdoms or lead others, but that just knows him with their whole heart. All his children, all equal in his eyes. All loved from the same heart of God, all worthy in his eyes of going to Calvary for.

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Blogging Christians and Internet Evangelism - Experts Say it is Top Means of Witnessing

Jason Lee Miller an editor and skillful writer for WebProNews said, "In the past two years, blogging, as a profession, has grown from geeky obscurity into a direct challenge to the journalism industry, even with bloggers' reputation for being unruly, unvetted, grammatically and syntactically insufficient, and above all, a disorganized mess."

Although Mr. Miller is correct there are those who believe that blogging may eventually go the way of the internet chat room and fade into insignificance. If or until it does it holds the single greatest potential for evangelism thorough the media since the advent of television.

It has been said that if a college professor could knock down the faith of a person in their freshman year, it wasn't much faith to begin with. What is being thrown against Christianity on the internet today makes the anti-Christian ranting of secular college professors look tame. If you are going to march into that lions den there are some important preparations that should be made first.

Although it may sound a little too rudimentary the same rules applied to one on one witnessing in real time applies to internet sharing. First know your bible. If you are new to the faith then at the very least keep a topical bible and a good exhaustive concordance around to supplement what you don't know too well. Looking up pertinent passages will only sharpen your bible skills in other areas of the Christian life.

Secondly, stay prayed up. If you enter the blogs with a carnal attitude you will be knocked off your guard quickly. Even worse you may resort to answering in "the flesh." This will be sensed immediately by blog respondents and will do harm to your witness. Ask God to always let your replies be given in love and don't forget common decency and respect for others at all times. Remember there is no offense in love and there is no defense against it.

Thirdly, learn to depend on God's Holy Spirit first and your wit, knowledge and all else last. Ask God to be in you choice of answers and he will be. I could say it no better than this..." take no thought how or what ye shall speak: for it shall be given you in that same hour what ye shall speak. For it is not ye that speak, but the Spirit of your Father which speaketh in you." Mt 10: 19-20

Fourthly, stay focused. If you are easily offended or if you need to answer every little quip or reply that is made you will get entangled at the speed of bloggercrash and you may not recover. The gospel stands by itself. Jesus Christ died for sinners and rose from the dead and is willing to take anyone into his Kingdom with a repentant heart, this is the heart of the gospel. Regardless of what is said all roads must lead to that point if your witness is to have any effect at all.

Remember if your going to blog that all blogs are not created equal. Christian blogs are where believers can find some fellowship with like minds and perhaps learn valuable things to supplement their faith. Other blogs are like war zones and can get out of hand quickly. If for instance you decide to attend to political sites keep in mind that some people think God and politics don't mix. They may believe that partisan politics holds all the answers quite apart from God's word or his commandments. These sites are not for the novice or the squeamish. Choose your blogs carefully.

There is a point when saying nothing says the most. Some sites are always lavished with heightened vitriol, abusive and foul language and personal attacks. It is my belief that these sites should be generally avoided. We can't forget Christ's admonition to give our best witness to those who are at least listening and who may respond. To wit; "Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you." Mt 7:6

Never forget that we are not called to defend the gospel but only to proclaim it. Muslims think they need to hurt or kill anyone who speaks a negative word about the prophet Muhammad but Christ doesn't need any defense, he has already overcome the world. (Jn. 16:33)

Another point Christians must keep in mind is that when entering a heated discussion and taking on either an offensive or a defensive position you have left the realm of proclamation and entered into debate. Some debate is useful but endless debate is not productive. The apostle Paul rebuked the Christians at Corinth for engaging in useless debates. (2 Cor. 12:20) Paul also said that endless debating was one of the hallmarks of the unregenerate and disobedient. (Ro. 1:29)

If you have no skill at sharing your faith you may want to get some. Google "Ray Comfort" and take a look at what one of today's top evangelists has to say about sharing the gospel. Some of Ray Comfort's methods may seem unusual but they are among the most effective witnessing tools available in today's climate of Christian bashing, hyper liberalism and pseudo intellectually driven self justification.

The nature of witnessing is changing as the last days approach. When you quote scripture or share your faith you are drawing a line. The unbeliever doesn't fully understand what that line is but they know it is being drawn.

If they ponder what you say or if they already agree with it that is one thing but if rejected it may be interpreted as judgment or a criticism against them. One statement that occurs with great frequency on the blogs is "why do Christians always try to shove their religion down our throats." The most gentle and articulately presented scripture or personal viewpoint can be seen this way. It takes more than language skills to know when and where to say something it takes Holy Spirit powered discernment. Got discernment?

Most blogs are an endless melee of opinions and when someone comes into them quoting scripture the tone changes. You have interjected an absolute that is often interpreted as too authoritarian in nature. In fact, that's just what it is. No one should be ashamed or reticent to quote scripture but it helps if you possess some fundamental skills in diplomacy. Author Cullen Hightower said "Wisdom is what's left when we've run out of personal opinions." We need not worry that Americans will ever run out of opinions. Scripture is not an opinion and it will never run out of wisdom.

Although blogs are not generally the place for full personal testimonies of our conversion experiences you may be able to get some or part of it told under the right conditions. People will argue a point to the death but personal stories are hard to argue with. In fact I might say that Americans are far more open to personal experiences than any other people in the world. How you met or came to know God is your most powerful tool in the end. It all boils down to a saying I have spoken and quoted for over 40 years now. "A man with an experience is never at the mercy of a man with an argument"

Personally I rarely answer the blogs or the remarks made about my articles. My approach is similar to Pontius Pilate's who is noted for saying...What I have written I have written. (Jn. 19:22) The times are calling for a more prophetic message than the previous general calls of evangelists. Perhaps John said it best in the revelation of Jesus Christ given to him while exiled on the isle of Patmos. "He that is unjust, let him be unjust still: and he which is filthy, let him be filthy still: and he that is righteous, let him be righteous still: and he that is holy, let him be holy still." (Rev. 2:11)

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Can You Be a Good Christian and Not Know God?

Most Christians that I know sincerely want to please God. They work hard to live a life that they believe God would want them to live. But I think we have missed the mark of what really pleases God. I want to examine this scripture in Philippians where the apostle Paul sets us straight.

Although I myself might have confidence even in the flesh. If anyone else has a mind to put confidence in the flesh, I far more: [5] circumcised the eighth day, of the nation of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews; as to the Law, a Pharisee; [6] as to zeal, a persecutor of the church; as to the righteousness which is in the Law, found blameless. Philip. 3:4-6 (NASB-U)

These words of Paul are what in his time would be a description of a Godly man. These were activities of faith that to his listeners put him far above the average religious man.

Let's translate this into our culture. I often hear statements such as, "that guy is a really good Christian." Or, "I am not really a very good Christian." What do people mean when they say this? What is meant by "good Christian"? They may not be consciously aware of it but I believe they are really referring to what I call the "big five" of Christianity.

They are Prayer, Bible study, Church attendance, Giving and Witnessing. We believe that the person who does these things well is a "good Christian." You are a better or lesser Christian depending on how you measure up to this check list. Usually when we feel like we aren't "right" with God it is because we do not score well on the "big five" list. But listen to what Paul goes on to say in this letter to the Philippians.

But whatever things (he just listed those "things" as religious activities) were gain to me, those things I have counted as loss for the sake of Christ. [8] More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ, [9] and may be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own derived from the Law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which comes from God on the basis of faith, Philip. 3:7-9 (NASB-U)

Paul seems to be saying that there is a difference between religious activities, or in our case, Christian activities and really knowing Jesus. He does not mean just knowing about God but a deep intimate relationship. The "big five" will naturally come out of knowing God but they do not necessarily lead us to that knowledge. They are tools that only have value in as much as they are used for the right purpose.

Suppose I had a goal in life to build the greatest house ever built. To achieve that goal I go to school and study every aspect of building from design to construction. Then I go and work as an apprentice to a master builder and learn the "tricks of the trade" that you can't learn in school. Then I go and buy the best tools for building that money can buy. There I stand decked out with all the fancy tools and all the knowledge and skills to use them. But what good is any of that if I never build the house. There is no glory and value in the tools or knowledge in and of themselves. You see, I know many people who do the "big five" really well but do not really know God. But I don't know anyone who truly knows God that does not do the "big five."

Why do so many miss this value that the most important thing in life is to truly know God in an intimate way? Why is it easier to get caught up in activity than to "Cease striving and know that I am God?" (Psalms 46:10) Part of the answer lies in understanding how Satan operates in our lives.

We know that Satan is responsible for a lot of pain in the world but I do not think we understand why. In reality, Satan doesn't really care about you, one way or the other. He doesn't care if you go to church or live a good or bad life. You mean nothing to him. Satan is consumed by his hatred of God and his belief that he should rightfully be God. His constant desire is not to hurt you but to hurt God. Since God's greatest desire is to have intimate fellowship with you then the best way Satan can hurt God is to prevent that from happening. How does he do that?

Every time you move toward intimacy with God Satan will bring pain into your life. The natural human response to pain is to pull away. In Luke 14:25-35 Jesus tells his followers that they need to count the cost of following Him. He gives an illustration of a King who goes to war with ten thousand men against an army of twenty thousand. In the middle of the battle he has to send a delegation to ask the terms of peace. Many of you unknowingly have struck a deal with Satan for peace. Here are his terms. "I don't care if you go to church or in fact do any of the "big five" as long as you stay away from intimacy with God. If you stay clear of God then I won't bother you." And that is where many live, busy with Christian activity but never really knowing God intimately.

Let's go back to Paul again. He felt so strongly about the difference between the Christian activity and in fact every good thing in his life that he said,

More than that, I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish so that I may gain Christ, (Philippians 3:8 NASB)

The word translated here as rubbish is actually the slang word for excrement or manure. That is how strongly he felt about it. What seemed to cost him everything actually gained him the best thing. But he also understood that this choice would involve pain.

That I may know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death; Philip. 3:10 (NASB-U)

Everyone would love to know the "power of His resurrection" the power that raised Jesus from the dead, but are we willing to pay the price of the "fellowship of His sufferings?" My friend, you will not know one without the other. But I promise you that when you experience this kind of relationship with the creator of the universe everything else in your life will pale in comparison. This is God's design for your life. This is what will please Him.

I believe that God created and designed the universe to work in a certain way. When you live life according to that design it works, if you do not then life doesn't work. Even if you do not believe in God this design is observable and verifiable. Learning that design is the best way to experience contentment in life.

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Christians and Debt: What Does The Bible Say?

Should Christians owe people money? There are quite a few verses both in the Old and New Testament that talks about debt. Let's start by quoting Paul's letter to the Romans. Romans 13:8 reads: 8 Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellow man has fulfilled the law.

"Let no debt remain outstanding"; this verse clearly states that Christians have the responsibility to live a financially stable and debt free life. "Except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellow man has fulfilled the law", and that the only thing we should owe to one another is love.

Debt itself may not be a sin nor does it state that anywhere in the bible. However, it does warn against the problems that are associated with why and how people get into debt in the first place. There are many cautions about debt becoming a source of conflict and the complications thereof. For example, debt can become a problem if the source of the need is envy from a neighbor's possessions or even greed. The bible teaches us in 1 Timothy 6:10: "10 For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many grieves." This passage clearly shows us to live within our means. It is very easy to want a bigger house or a nice car and when we start coveting what others have and why we don't have the same, trouble begins.

Let us take a look at another bible passage found in Hebrews 13:5 It states that: "5 Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, 'Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.'" This is another verse that clearly indicates that the cause of most debt is oftentimes from envy of the possessions of others, the love of wealth, and a lack of faith in God providing for our needs.

When we owe money, we are also obligated to repay it. In Romans 13:7, Christian should: "7 Give everyone what you owe him: If you owe taxes, pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue; if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor". We may not always be able to avoid getting into debt but the bible does teach us that our debt should be a temporary state of affairs.

Our last bible verse found in Deuteronomy 15: 1 reads: "1 At the end of every seven years you must cancel debts. This means we should actively find a way to resolve our debt so that we may have a clean slate, free of owing money to others and having others owe us." Debt may not necessarily be a sin in itself but the causes of debt; the reckless borrowing of money can lead to sinful actions. Christian is to make every effort to live responsibly and within our budgets.

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Christians and Unconditional Love

Love is the foundation of Christianity. God so loved the world that he gave us his only begotten son. God commanded his love towards us while we were still sinners. Sinners receive grace to turn into children of God motivated by His desires.

But when a person is born again the grace of God has been shed abroad in their heart. This love is greater than any we have ever known and the purpose of giving this gift to us is so that we can share it with everyone we meet. God uses His people to spread His message to the world at large.

People who do not share these same feelings tend to offer conditional love to everyone they meet. This means that if they are in a relationship with someone else they promise to be there for that person as long as that person remains the same. When all is going well mutual feelings of affection abounds But let one person do something the other does not approve of and suddenly those feelings of affection are gone. It disappears.

How can someone tell if they are walking in conditional or unconditional love? How is it possible to know for sure that unconditional love remains unconditional? It has to do with understanding how this type of love works. Conditional love focuses on the actions of others to determine whether or not to extend love. If their actions are pleasing then love is given. But whenever those actions change (and they always will when it comes to dealing with people) so too will the feelings between the two. Many people have thought they were in love only to find out that a single incident could erase that love forever.

Unconditional love focuses solely on the belief of the person who is expected to extend love to others. It does not pay attention to what others think or say. It is based solely on a decision to love. God does not love us because we do things right or hate us because we sin. He loves us because He makes the decision to love us. Our actions do not cause Him to love us more or less. His love is based on His decision not ours.

To love others in the same way boils down to making a decision to do so. Unconditional love will not operate unless it is powered by a will determined to love regardless. It moves actions to a place where sin can be forgiven.

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Marriage and Love Affairs

Marriage is certainly a man made institution. It is a requirement in a civilized society to identify the family and the children. It is also a solution for sexual satisfaction. Thus the marriage customs that identify a couple as one are there in all religions. It follows that Hinduism, Christianity, Islam or for that matter any other religion all have a ritual that has to be undergone to be classified as married.

But in any society there is always interaction between the opposite sexes and even if you are married this interaction and contact will always be there. In addition man is by nature not monogamous and as such there is every chance that a man though married could be attracted to another woman.

This attraction could be at your place of work where a colleague may attract you or someone in your neighborhood. Generally this attraction builds up over a period of time. Social Scientists have concluded that this attraction is in some cases inevitable as hours of work together with an opposite sex partner could lead to what we term an affair.

An affair is something like a liaison with another man or woman that could lead to sex. The reasons are myriad- a woman could be unhappy in her marriage or simply a man may be attracted to a colleague. What must be understood is that this attraction is natural and builds up over a period of time.

Having said this, it must also be understood that the protagonists of a love affair must keep their wits about themselves. They must understand that their affair if it goes deeper is likely to cause anguish to their partners. Not only can this result in break up of a marriage but in all likelihood will also cause anguish to the man and woman involved in an affair with each other.

What is the solution? Affairs are fairly common, but the participants must understand that the end result will perhaps be anguish and more anguish. Though one need not take a lesson from religion and condemn an affair, the fact is an affair can if prolonged create more problems than it solves.

In case you have had an affair the best course is to get it out of your system and concentrate on something positive like your children.That should not be difficult. Lastly do not make any confessions to your partner of any affair. Remember if a mirror cracks it cannot be ever repaired.

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How Should a Christian Husband Love His Wife?

Christian marriages are to be different than the unbeliever's marriage because a follower of Christ becomes sanctified (set apart) through the word for God's purpose. (John 17:17) When a Christian obediently follows the principles of Christ it has a purifying affect on the heart and mind. Are you letting the word of God cleanse you and your marriage? This is how a Christian husband should love his wife?

A Christian Husband Should Have Self-Control

If a husband cannot keep himself from looking, touching, or bedding another woman other than his wife then he most likely is doing something wrong in his walk with Jesus. It seems that his relationship with God is faltering somewhere. The attitude of lust and desire outside the bounds of marriage always hurts everyone involved. Why put your self and family through such pain?

If a Christian husband is having difficulties with ridding himself of wrong desires then he needs to pray about it and ask that God help Him to turn away from immoral desires and to only have eyes for his wife. Scripture lets us know that only those people who truly belong to Jesus and who have denied self have given up the sinful nature with its passions and desires. (Galatians 5:24)

"For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age. (Titus 2:11-12)

A Christian Husband Should be Considerate of His Wife

"Husbands in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives." (1 Peter 3:7)

This means for a Christian husband to be understanding, caring and selfless, putting his wife's well-being above his own. Understand that this is the way God wants a husband to love his wife. Scripture dictates that the only way a husband would be able to put his wife before himself is to have a right relationship with Jesus Christ.

Treat Her With Respect as the Weaker Partner (vessel)

And treat her with respect as the weaker partner and as heir with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers. (1 Peter 3:8)

"Weaker partner" does not mean moral or intellectual ability but physically weaker. As we all know women are more vulnerable to criminal and sexual abuse and a husband should be protecting her in that regard. In what ways can you protect your wife from these kinds of abuses? Husbands should respect the fact that their wives are physically weaker and protect them from all outside influences.

If your wife rebels against this protection then explain to her, with scripture in hand, that it is your Christian duty to protect her from mistreatment in the world. Let her know that this is one way in which you show your love for her. No woman in her right mind would resist such love and spiritual understanding.

In Ephesians 5:26 husbands are to wash their wives with the word, cleansing her and making her holy. Show your wife spiritual wisdom and discernment through your love for her. This is what being "head of the wife" means. The husband first must be a man of God before he can cleanse his wife with the word.

Continue to be wise in the Lord and wash your wife with the word, making her holy as Christ's church. Christ's death sanctified and cleanses the church and it is God's word that cleanses us. (John 17:17)

"...So that nothing will hinder your prayers". (1 Peter 3:8)

Have you ever wondered why your prayers never seem to get answered? Do you pray and pray and nothing changes? It could mean that you are hindering your prayers because your relationship is not right with God. If a husband is not considerate and respectful of his wife, perhaps his prayers will be hindered. I mean this is what scripture says, plain and simple.

In Matthew 5:23-24 it lets us know that if you have a problem with a fellow believer (spouse) that you are to resolve the problem BEFORE coming together in prayer. God is not going to resolve your problems with your wife for you. You need to resolve your problems with your wife first and then go to God with your prayers.

The bottom line is if a husband uses his headship position as a means to mistreat his wife, then his relationship with God will suffer and consequently his prayers will go unanswered. Our attitude towards others reflects our relationship with Christ.

(1 John 4:20)

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Submission and Love - Two Sides of the Same Coin

Ephesians 5:22 commands the wife to submit to her husband while Ephesians 5:25 commands the husband to love his wife. But are these two separate things? I don't think so.

Submission is always an act of love and love is always an act of submission. These are not unrelated commands. In fact, they may be one in the same. Love is not some warm, fuzzy, or tingling feeling that you get. Love is an action that involves submission, or the giving up of something important to you so that someone else may benefit.

John 3:16 says that God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son. God submitted His Son, Jesus Christ, into the hands of sinners to be tortured and ultimately killed so that these same torturers and murders would have a means to get to heaven. That is love. But it was also a tremendous act of submission.

The Bible says in John 15:13: Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. Again, we see that this great love is accompanied by an act of great submission. Submission and love go hand in hand.

Even in Ephesians 5:25 where God commands the husband to love his wife, He gave the example of Jesus and the Church: "...even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it." Jesus loved the Church by giving up His life for it. Again, we see that love and submission are one and the same thing.

Jesus, while talking to the Disciples, said in John 14:15, "If you love me, keep my commandments." Thus, one means of loving Jesus is to submit your will to His commands.

When there is true love, there is true submission. You can't have the one without the other. Every time I love my wife, I submit my will to hers. I choose to do something that she wants rather than what I want. She, in turn, does the same for me.

So why then did God word it this way? Why didn't He simply use the word 'love' or 'submit' in both instances? I believe God had it worded in such a way in order to appeal the greatest to our natures as men and women.

Women define themselves by their relationships. When a woman is insecure, she often seeks to dominate or control the relationship in order to feel good about it-feel secure. Even during her attempts to control the relationship, she will think she is loving her man. She won't necessarily see it as anything else. God used the word 'submit' because it strikes at the heart of her actions. She isn't loving until she is submitting.

Men, on the other hand, define themselves by their work or their capacity to perform a duty or role. Most men, however, do not willingly surrender these roles to anyone, man or woman. They tend to say, 'I can do it myself', 'I don't need any help', 'I don't need directions' and so forth. When you use the word 'submit' a man thinks of surrender. Most men get stubborn when you tell them surrender. But using the word 'love', will strike at the heart of a man's failure. In refusing to budge, or give an inch, he hasn't loved his wife as he ought to. Get him to love, and he will have submitted. He needs to understand that submission is not an act of surrender, but an act of love.

God, I believe, chose these words to fit best with our nature and particular roles. It merely demonstrates how smart and intelligent God is.

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God's Love and Love in a Marriage

Jesus led a simple life of love. His life is a model for living in faith and love - in particular, love in a marriage.

What is love in a marriage?

A marriage is a purposeful decision to create something new for two individuals. This new creation requires three integral components to cherish and grow: intimacy, passion, and commitment.

From the Christian point of view, love is first and foremost based on God's love - a decision to love God and be loved by Him.

"Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?" (Romans 8:35)

Accordingly, the purpose of a Christian marriage is to imitate Christ to love one another, as well as to know God through the knowledge and the love for each other.

Self-love (not the narcissistic love of self to the exclusion of loving others) is the foundation of love, including the love of God. The reason is that self-love is an expression of moral obligation to the Creator - a belief that we are created in His image, and therefore we should love ourselves, as well as others. Self-love, surprisingly, is a prerequisite for loving others, including God. This belief makes us extend our love of self to love of God, as well as to others, who are all created by the same God and in the same image.

Love in a marriage is made up intimacy, passion, and commitment. Intimacy is connectedness to your marriage partner through sharing values and feelings of closeness. Passion is a result of the intimacy, leading to romance, physical attraction, and sexual consummation. Essentially, passion is purposeful involvement, requiring a decision. Commitment, too, is a decision to sustain the relationship in spite of the odds and obstacles encountered. Life is full of choices and decisions, and marriage is no exception.

Jesus' life is a model for love in a marriage. He lived with the purpose of doing the will of His Father - acceptance for all, including Jews and Gentiles, rich and poor, young and old; He demonstrated His commitment to preach God's message of unconditional love and forgiveness.

A successful marriage is one in which two individuals have made a decision to love each other. However, a decision to love does not necessarily imply a commitment to love. Commitment to love often grows or increases over time, provided the marriage partners can survive the ups and downs of a marriage - and this is where commitment to love plays a pivotal part. Remember, commitment to love is a decision in life, just as our decision to love God. It is more than words or mere talk: it is action in faith: "let us not love with word or tongue, but in deed and truth." (1 John 3:18)

Love is the foundation of a good marriage, and that love is cherished and enhanced by the love of God.

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